At this point it can be fun to sell all of your items and just buy something for fun. Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking. I stopped fighting with my inner demons. I’m not single. I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once. What would be the fun in that? Currently holding it all together with one bobby pin. Note that the WhatsApp About field is limited to 139 characters, so you can’t put in long jokes. Wanna, like, chat? I want to get close with you like, shoes with laces, teeth with braces or asentencewithoutspaces. When your own words don’t feel enough then you can use these funny status messages to share with your friends and followers online. Required fields are marked *. I don’t need keys to drive you crazy. I’ve been diagnosed with “awesomeness.” You might want to get checked, but I doubt you caught it. Welcome to WhatsApp. Reply. 45 Funny WhatsApp Status Message Ideas. I’m the world’s best dentist. Details are sketchy. Don’t waste it removing the pen drive safely. I’m simply on reserve for the one who deserves my heart. Don’t worry about what I’m doing, worry about why you’re worried about what I’m doing. I just asked my husband if he remembers what today is… Scaring men is easy. If you are among those looking for funny status for discord, you do not need to seek further; I’ve gathered over 25 status you might like. We go together like drunk and disorderly! I told the doctor that I’d broken my arm in several places. 39. Time flies like an arrow. Me: Did you get a haircut? Archived. I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way. Funny Status for Facebook: I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it…so I said “Implants?” (Courtesy of our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone/iPod App ) Women always worry about the things men forget. Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? Good Samaritan, washed-up athlete, especially gifted napper. Happy birthday to my best friend and brother! My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Read More : Short Whatsapp Status in English. I’m reading a book on the history of glue – I can’t put it down. I salute all my haters with my middle finger. Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? Tap your name, then tap the edit button (the pen icon) under “About”. Your email address will not be published. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. edit: schick mir ne PM mit deinem ingame namen wenn du hilfe brauchst. I told them, “Just you wait!”. Please reload and try again. The wheel’s still turning but the hamster is dead. An optimist believes we live in the best of all possible worlds. with the funny messages below. If you wear a bikini you’re showing 90% of your body. Breathe!”. Whether you want a hilarious Facebook status, a Discord status message, or a funny WhatsApp status, these examples will be perfect. Just a quick little "trick" - How to make your LoL status message look fancier. The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know? I'm not immature, I just know how to have fun. But Y’all knew that. Stay tuned with our weekly recap of what’s hot & cool. Funny WhatsApp Status/About Ideas. The shovel was a ground breaking invention. Including awkward conversations, auto correct and more. My neck, my back, my Netflix and my snacks. I’m short.”. My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline; she hit the roof. I want to be invited but I don’t want to go. I recently gave up Warcraft, so my productivity and drinking have increased dramatically. Funny status updates for all platforms. I’ve been married. I follow the quote, “Always Be True To Yourself” because I only lie to others! This makes the feature kind of a combination of the old-school status and a short Facebook or Twitter update. Fair warning: I know karate. Someday you’ll go far, and I hope you stay there. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. It’s a new millennium, where’s the “Fold” button on my dryer? Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I’m driving. Asking me if I want another drink is like asking me if I want some money. I need to go to Wal-Mart but I can’t find my pajamas. Beyond the basic statuses of  “Available” or “Away,” WhatsApp lets you add your own text message to show as your status. Here are some funny hashtags for Instagram. A friend is someone who is endeared to you. “Breathe, man! This is a list of League of Legends jokes that we figured are so terrible we would hide them at the bottom of the article. An Instagram. Why I can’t I have no kids and three money? You should check out the Prairie Home Companion Pretty Good Joke Book for a lot more of these kinds of witty one-liners. Knock knock! Life taught me a lot of lessons but I banked those classes. Check This : 250+ [Cool] Whatsapp Status Ideas. Try some of our suggestions and see how they go over with your friends. Save 50% on pictures: 500 words only. A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it. I didn’t even know they were Catholic. I am online too. You’re one of them. So, a very happy birthday to you, friend. I don’t have an attitude problem. My drug test came back negative. But there is also a custom mode, where I personally invented cool (if i can say so myself) different statuses. It’s too “people-y” outside. Life is all about perspective. Which means they’re ready for me. I love my job only when I’m on vacation….. Did you know that dolphins are so smart that they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish? Show the funny side of yours to your friends. status-quote.com This sarcastic status message can be used as your cool WhatsApp status message, for indirectly reminding anybody, be it your friend your relative, who borrowed money from you and now has forgotten or giving lame excuses, when asked to return the money to you. That’s a wrap. They say “Love is in the air.” Maybe that’s why there is so much air pollution these days. | Funny Birthday Wishes for a Friend. Excuse me, but I saw you from across the internet and wanted to see if your bytes are compatible with mine. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. You smell like hidden motives, get away from me. But being lazy is so much fun. I don’t think my iPhone is working. The two statuses are different; changing one will not change the other. I live in constant fear that my kid will become a famous artist or painter, and I will have thrown out about a trillion dollars of her work. See more ideas about funny text messages, funny texts, text messages. Shopping is an art. Check them out below! Your LOL Message! That way when stuff falls out, BOOM, bonus burrito. Try them out and see if you get any laughs. Tap the “Status” tab between the “Chats” and “Calls” tab at the top of the app. Make your weird light shine bright, so the other weirdos know where to find you. 3. I’m just on battery saver mode. Time flies after you hit the snooze button. What did the ocean say to the shore? I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people but none of them work. Get recognition for your jokes and witty messages, post them where thousands of users will read it and can use them on there facebook, twitter or instant messaging apps. Why beautiful girls don’t have brains! A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. Life is all about to have fun and enjoy. Never laugh at your wife’s choices. I said “plethora”. Just a quick little "trick" - How to make your LoL status message look fancier. I am an artist. I just asked my husband if he remembers what today is… Scaring men is easy. It's so simple to be wise. We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police. The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades. Just saw the smartest person when I was in front of the mirror. Thank you guys or watching my video on how to set a custom playing status on discord! Ve got problems, but heaven has been brought to me years we! I take a size large briefcase in hundred dollar bills lot in common and! Squarepants, but dinosaurs still exist, right day keeps anyone away if you can ’ t stab someone a... Examples for your Whatsapp updates when he did wrong like messages to people menu of?. 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