There are practically zero presidents to assassinate in Alaska. Do you ever get sick of hearing about "the greatest generation"? Just now, I was extracting from a difficulty 4 Cyborg desert planet just as the Cyborgs … Martin J. Monti was a strong anti-Communist. Funny War Stories Wanted. Funny Quotes #1 Funny Military Quotes, Humorous Quotes. In his latter years he looked just like Colonel Sanders. 6 Famous WWI Fighter Aces. Seeing three more tanks rolling in, he immediately flanked the first approaching tank, fired, and destroyed it. Unsurprisingly, there are lots of amazing stories from the conflict, though some are more well known than others. In 1939, he joined the Finnish Army to help fight against the Soviet invasion of Finland. Scroll Down. Gravely injured, Gurung refused to give up. Even though Admiral Ernest King, who was in charge of the convoy (and getting sick of the problems and hourly damage reports from the Willie Dee), personally radioed Captain Walter, telling him to cut the shit out and start acting properly. Murphy ordered a retreat and mounted a burning tank destroyer, holding the enemy back with a machine gun. Ed and Mary Shanahan are looking for “funny and unusual (but please no blood and guts; everyone knows the horrors of war) stories” for a collection they’re putting together of short, but funny and true war stories. By the time World War II ended, Urban had earned the Medal of Honor, seven Purple Hearts, two Silver Stars, and three Bronze Stars. 11. We think the Porter kept them alive so they would forever have to live with the fact that they served on the Porter. And that was when shit got real. Dick Gravy’s War Quiz. For a war about taxes, the American Revolution sure wasn’t boring. We have no idea who the man attached to it is. We wouldn't be surprised if the Iowa had a little party at that news. World War II veteran Jack Hilton, 99, shares his battle stories and reflects on his experiences on Remembrance Day. Funny story that terrified my cab driver as text. Not pro-Nazi, but very anti-Soviet, he continued to fight until captured by the Allies in 1945. He would famously rig his machine guns to sound like heavy weaponry, causing the enemy to believe they were up against a superior force. So by this point, everyone on the mission was understandably a little skittish. Unfortunately for that sailor, the shell was steered by the powers of bad luck right into the base commander's front yard, exploding in his flower garden, obviously ruining the flowers and further demolishing what was left of the ship's reputation. These startling but incredible actions would confuse and panic the German command and they dubbed Prince’s unit, “The Devil’s Brigade.” He continued to serve throughout World War II and Korea, finally retiring, due to arthritis, in 1954. "A Coin" brings war much closer to home. There is evil in the world and we must not ignore it. Tommy Prince was a First Nations soldier born in Canada in 1915. Pavlovich grabbed an axe and quietly approached the tank. The sergeant then pointed at the white chalk line surrounding the group. He was able to galvanize the small, poorly armed resistance fighters with his cunning and dramatic style. Well, they came fairly close to accidentally blowing up the president, so there's that. Remember that this was a secret mission -- no one knew the president of the United States would be on the USS Iowa until he boarded it, and even then the whole deal was hush-hush. This means no publishing without the permission of the author him/herself. A collection of Short Stories, books, essays, speeches, letters, and poems that concern themselves with the American Civil War (1861 - 1865). By January Nelson Updated September 29, 2018. He remained in prison until he was paroled in 1960. Tweet; Between 1939 and 1945, over 1.1 million Canadians served in army, navy, and air forces across the globe. Funny War Meme Niggas Be Like Strapped Up Picture. The taxi driver will have a fun story to tell his family after his shift! Hello, I’m Dick Gravy and welcome to It’s a Funny Old War, where two veterans compete to see who knows the most about the War. They used their anti-sub and anti-aircraft weapons correctly, avoided sinking allied ships, shot down five Japanese planes and never once attempted to assassinate the president. Finally, someone decided to break radio silence and ordered Iowa to turn right fast. And then almost killed the president by accident. Stories. The Soviets nicknamed him, “White Death.” He achieved more than half of his kills in the first 100 days, averaging 5 kills per day. Some involve valor; others are just actions that are too mind-blowing to believe. For a war about taxes, the American Revolution sure wasn’t boring. I've had a few funny situations happen in this game so far. 19 Minions Memes Humor – Funny Hilarious humor Pictures . Thanks for connecting! nbbd"Hide in my cabin? Get ready for a hurricane of LOL as you read all these funny short stories. Trish Wood . Tales of the scrappy Colonists’ rebellion against King George III made many of us history buffs back in elementary school. His unit began a retreat, while Urban alone rushed the enemy with only his trench knife, stabbing one soldier to death. Even during times of strife and tragedy, people love to laugh. In Burma, he flew 56 missions and shot down six Japanese aircraft. SOLDIERS TELL TRUE STORIES OF THEIR WAR. 3 posts in this topic. In my spare time, I roam the dark alleys of the city stopping grammatical errors and bad spelling wherever I may find them! Veterans' Stories. Walter vowed to "improve his ship's performance." and the first fake torpedo was fake fired. The general surrendered 23,000 men and 1,000 vehicles. Despite being shot five times, he killed six, grabbed the other two, using them as shields to make his escape. Well that pretty much sums up the exploits of Ivan Pavlovich Sereda. He later became a successful dog breeder, dying at the age of 96, in 2002. He was initially sent to Karachi in 1944. Sergeant: “The grenade goes off at three and a half seconds, spreading metal fragments from the casing over an area of about 200 yards. In the final days of the war, he reportedly helped track down Nazi war criminals. He served as a Finnish Vänrikki (Second Lieutenant) and a sniper. P-JiZ 17 Premium Member; Premium Member; 17 60 posts; Location: Florida; Posted April 4, 2015. Being the same age, he convinced her to allow him to fight by her side on their advance to Berlin. In fact, the idea to build a history based site is mainly just an excuse for me to be able to spend more time researching historical things that interest me! She was a pilot in the Iraq war … However, it was in the invasion of southern France, where he was to distinguish himself even further. Born in 1916, in California, Carter’s father was an African-American missionary, and his mother was Indian from Calcutta. This time he completely botched it and accidentally signaled to the Iowa "We're going in reverse full speed." Veteran Stories: The Second World War. They were at war, after all. Specifically, someone forgot to raise the anchor up all the way, and as they backed out ever so slowly, they dragged the anchor along the moored deck of her sister ship.Picture an anchor scraping along railings, lifeboats and thousands of dollars' worth of war shit like a coked up toddler in a candy store. See how your stories compare with these with these funny short stories you can share with the whole family. Save this to your funny stories collection so you can tell your friends on a road trip! Standing a mere 150 cm (4’11”), he served in Burma and fought against the deadly Imperial Japanese Army. you're probably asking. and the second fake torpedo was fake fired. Some of them might be considered too raunchy for history class. That.". The USS William D. Porter was only one of the ships in the convoy that was going to get them there. In addition to trying to track the phantom Nazi down, the ships also began executing evasive maneuvers, which means they were tasked with getting the hell out of the line of fire. "- served in the American Civil War. ... to try to be funny about an epic human tragedy. However, a few months later, without explanation, he made his way to German-controlled Milan in a reconditioned P-38, and announced his defection. World War I Stories. 19 Best humor laughing so hard – Charismatic Humor memes and Jokes . When creating Ultima Online, Richard Garriott had grand dreams. Followers 0. You know what's about to happen. My daddy told a story about my Aunt Karen. Single-handedly destroying five tanks, with only five rounds; if that isn’t “badassdom,” then I don’t know what is! Even during times of … But those textbooks didn’t teach us everything there is […] Go to Funny Quotes page 2 I can't guarantee that these funny quotes are correct or true, but I have tried to verify as many of the funny quotes as possible. navweaps"Hang on, is this the Roosevelt who wrestles torpedoes? The enemy finally caught up with him in March 1940, when he was shot in the lower left jaw. In other words, the ship was accidentally killed by an airplane that had already crashed. In 1965, his helicopter crashed during an operation. "Johnny, do you have a story to share?" He was called “The Ghost” because, by all accounts, he shouldn’t have survived the war! Following is the list of some of the ugly stories attached to the two world wars. Despite what it looks like in video games, war is not fun. World War II was one of the bloodiest wars in human history. Get ready for a hurricane of LOL as you read all these funny short stories. A fresh take on sports: the biggest news and most entertaining lists. He survived, but by then the Soviets and Finland had signed a peace treaty. My wife's Aunt was married to the mid gunner on a Lancaster bomber. Funny War Meme Only Just Begun The Meme War Has Image. 6 Famous WWI Fighter Aces. So when we say that this ship's service played out in exactly the way it would if it had been a hastily scripted Adam Sandler comedy, we're not exaggerating. The signalman quickly told the Iowa that a torpedo was in the water ... except he said that it was going in the opposite direction. I do not believe we should be reluctant to tell funny war stories when one considers all of the classic movies, television shows, and novels which showed the comic side of war. During the Winter War of 1939, Simo, dressed in snow-white camouflage, haunted the Soviet Army and became the deadliest sniper ever with 505 confirmed kills. We must protect those persecuted. He had set himself apart that day as the “One-Man Air Force.”. Canadians contributed significantly to home defence, the production of war materials, the training of aircrews, the protection of shipping convoys across the Atlantic, the United Kingdom’s defence, the bomber war … What could go wrong? There was only one problem: The Porter was staffed with the cast of Police Academy. By this point, the Porter was the latrine duty of the Navy -- serving on it was considered a punishment. We were watching the movie and the oven beeped … Obviously the president was panicking, knowing that death could be on its way ... oh wait, no, Roosevelt asked to be rolled over to watch the torpedo action. This soldier received just about as many medals as Audie Murphy, yet is practically unknown. SUCCESS! Top 20 Most Funny Stories of all Time #Funny #Stories. On May 12 and 13, 1945, Gurung was in a forward position with his platoon at Taungdaw. After enduring seven months in prison camps, he was able to escape. Havildar Lachhiman Gurung was a Nepalese rifleman in the 8th Gurkha Rifles, part of the Indian Army during World War II. With only one round left, he re-armed his rocket launcher, fired, and sent the fifth tank plummeting down a steep embankment. James Howard joined the U.S. Navy in 1938, as a fighter pilot, but resigned in 1941, to join the famous Flying Tigers of Burma. Light signals. In 1940, he rejoined the British Army, proving himself a talented leader, if not a little eccentric. That part went fine. 75 Short Short Stories. As you can imagine, the sonar on every ship in the convoy started ringing like the world was ending, because clearly there was an enemy boat within firing range. They announced "Fire one!" He then fought the Soviets heading a German unit named “Detachment Törni.” He took his unit behind enemy lines, conducting sabotage operations and guerrilla attacks. The trouble started before the boat even left the dock. Now that’s what I call stupid: In my junior year of high school, this guy asked me on a date. In 1946, he was allowed to have his sentenced overturned in exchange for reenlisting in the U.S. Army. Veterans' Stories. Scroll Down . An accomplished hunter and tracker, he excelled as a paratrooper in the Canadian Army and, during World War II, as a reconnaissance sergeant with the 1st Special Service Force, an elite American-Canadian commando unit. Introduction: In this blog article, Mary Harrell-Sesniak shares some jokes, puns and funny stories she found while searching through newspapers from the Civil War era.Mary is a genealogist, author and editor with a strong technology background. Despite what it looks like in video games, war is not fun. The Willie Dee was actually fortunate that the bomb had sank a ways before detonating, otherwise their entire stern would have blown off. He managed to hurl back two grenades that landed near him, but as he attempted to throw back a third, it detonated and blew off his right hand. A Short and Funny Story This is a short and funny story about Malcolm, one of those unique bush characters, the town drunk and the giver of some hilarious funny stories. Arthur Stadler (1892-1937), an Austrian war veteran and artist made this rendering of the crucifixion of a soldier in 1927. Luckily, the torpedo wound up missing the boat, thanks to the Iowa's sharp turn. And the practice target would be the Iowa. Carter decided to take a demotion to private in exchange for a transfer to the front, where his experience paid off. Surely the Axis powers had intelligence on the secret mission and were after them, knowing that freaking FDR was on board. … Fair enough. The plane crashed into the ocean without exploding, and the high-five party began. The crew quickly returned to their tank and began laying down machine gun fire. They got exiled to the Aleutian Islands, with the U.S. Navy figuring they couldn't possibly screw anything up over there. SOLDIERS TELL TRUE STORIES OF THEIR WAR. (Even as adults, some of us still geek out over Revolutionary War records on Ancestry.) So they sent them to the only campaign no one ever really cared about: Alaska. Being the USS William D. Porter, however, you know this fairy tale wouldn't last. His sheer intensity and the imposing sword left the Germans stunned. asukamaxwell"Three if by torpedo (by sea).". First, he served as a private in the Confederate Army, and was taken prisoner at the Battle of Shiloh in 1862. Just as the captain probably got ready to wheel FDR over the deck in a mercy killing, everyone got a message from the Porter. “I’m looking for funny stories like this one, ” … If you ever need me, use the Geek Signal! On December 15, 1944, his unit was protecting a roadblock when they came under attack by an advancing Japanese force. What follows are fifteen of these true stories of World War II soldiers that you just aren’t going to believe! Like a story? By war’s end, still not even 21 years old, Lieutenant Audie Murphy had earned every medal for bravery his country could bestow. But they didn't. 1. Finally, the Porter was stationed on the perimeter of the battle, where they were sure to not kill anyone.